Matrimonial resume, relationships, time to get fully human
Last week, I got to know about a term called ‘matrimonial resume’.
Think of it like a poorly prepared pitch deck for startups in a document format.
In the pitch deck, you list down the problem you are solving, the target market, the core USP and features of the product, the team’s background, and future growth prospects to attract potential investors.
In the matrimonial resume, you are the product and investors are your future in-laws/spouse.
And the problem you are solving in most cases (at least arranged marriages) is the unhealthy obsession of society and parents to get you “settled” at every cost (but that is usually not mentioned in the pitch deck of course).
Also, it goes for all genders but I am aware that girls can have it way more difficult given the pre-dominant patriarchal society where investors on the other side are like giant sharks looking to make the best “return on investment”.
And trust me, being a guy, the irony of being on the same side (at least for the time being) as sharks, is not lost on me. I am mainly thankful/(hopeful?) that my side of investors is comparatively gentle, kind, and understanding.
Anyway, I’ll perhaps do a detailed post on this “resume” and its impending implications for my life some other time as I am still frustrated and angsty about it at the moment to write anything remotely useful or at least funny.
But since we’re talking about it, I want to share an article from a fellow writer friend, Simone about marriages. You must subscribe to her newsletter if you want some deep thoughts delivered lightly with lots of insights, smiles, and a dose of wit!
Simone writes about something I have often contemplated with respect to relationships.
“In 10 years, you will not be the person you are today. Neither will your partner. You will grow. They will grow. Perhaps you’ll grow together, in parallel, apart, or weave between the two. But, you will grow, and this means you will change.”
People change and grow over time. And to me, a healthy relationship is one where you both are growing individually while supporting the growth of each other.
I had once read somewhere that if you are not growing in a relationship, you are in the wrong relationship. And it has stuck with me as one core requirement of a healthy relationship.
But, what is the secret of a long relationship in addition to this growth?
“What all old people know that young people don’t is that people who stay married go through many, many, many marriages in one. To believe anything else is your choice, but to believe what I tell you, is very wise.”
I think I trust Simone. I want to be wise. 😀
So I saved this for future reference.
And to my subscriber friends who are getting married this year (you know who you are :P), it is better you do too! 😀
Tweet of the Week: Time to Get Earnest and Weird and Fully Human is NOW
This tweet stuck with me as I was scrolling through Twitter after a long time.
It reminded me of the value and the urgency of nurturing and bringing out the unique, weird, authentic side of me in a much more wilder way.
In the world of AI built on existing, regurgitated ideas, the only way to stand out is to lean into the deeper, messy parts that make us human.
Tapping into these parts eventually extends to embrace a way of living defined by the courage to create your own path that is aligned with your inner compass and is a unique signature mix of your personality, skillset, and interests.
This is difficult as it requires you to be radically different (and sometimes stubborn!) as opposed to following the herd to lead an average life (to be clear, nothing wrong with that if that is what makes you happy) and resigning to what society/parents expect you to do so.
I hope when the time comes, you find that courage. And so do I. 🙂
That is all from me this week, folks!
Until next time
If you liked reading this newsletter, sign up to get them straight into your inbox, every Wednesday!
Most Popular Newsletter Editions
- Vishal’s Newsletter- Edition 15 Shame, Food, & Yoga of Eating
- Vishal’s Newsletter- Edition 49 Regret minimization, dreams, & acting
- Vishal’s Newsletter- Edition 10 Annual Review, Happiness, Paradoxes of Modern Life
- Vishal’s Newsletter- Edition 27 How did I learn to cry?
- Vishal’s Newsletter- Edition 86 3 reflections from 1 year of self-employment
- Vishal’s Newsletter- Edition 11 Desire, Ambition, Greed, & Many Worlds of Enough