Why So Serious
Picking up random fights.
Kicking the lunchboxes of other kids after I was done eating.
Singing songs at the peak of my voice on auto rides back home from school.
Writing a letter confessing to my crush (and getting caught by my mom!)
Getting my ankle fractured for two consecutive years while playing football.
I have done all the above and a few more things by the age of 8-10 years.
But, when I tell any of these stories to my close friends, I am met with a look of surprise and confusion.
Many of my friends find it difficult to believe this.
Those actions don’t match the perception they have of me.
Honestly, even I find it difficult to imagine that I was once the same naughty and active kid.
I have often wondered when did I get so serious?
Yesterday, as part of the 100-day creator challenge, I got a prompt, “Who hurt you?”
This is when I remembered and explored one small childhood incident that might have contributed a small part to this transition.
Sharing that piece as the first thing from me in this edition.
I think this was the last time I remember having fun in the class. It was the day I got ‘serious’. I never dared to laugh or crack jokes in a classroom after that.
3 More Things from Me this Week
|Not good-looking enough|
One thing that scares me the most is looking into the camera. Since childhood, I have never liked my pictures. It is a story I have become used to telling myself. It has led to strong negative self-belief and body image issues.
|Self-love, personal development, and relationships|
Sometimes self-improvement can become never-ending. It can become a subconscious excuse to not be close to someone. How do you overcome that?
|The missing piece in the weight loss puzzle|
In my childhood, I did not have self-awareness about emotions of fear, shame, and guilt. I just remember feeling bad and unworthy of love. They fed into the cycle of loneliness, isolation, and social anxiety. This perpetual cycle manifested in the form of emotional eating to numb the emotions.
1 Question to Reflect On- Who am I without achievement?
I came across this question in a discussion on a Twitter thread (missed saving its link! :/).
It was a response to the question, “How to come to terms with your worth?”
It is an interesting question as we are so used to defining ourselves in terms of what we do and what have we achieved in life.
We carry the labels of prestigious colleges where we studied, brands where we work, and things we have done in the past.
But, who are you beyond these labels?
Screenshot of the Week- Getting Lost
This quote gave me some comfort as I still feel more lost than ever. I guess there is a thrill in the excitement of being lost and uncertain, after all.
That’s all from me this week, folks!
I will see you next week in the last edition of this crazy year! 😀
Until next time